ghana here we come

I have a fatigue which is difficult to explain. I do understand that i am expected by some, to be so 'grateful' for being here, have been told that a few times. My feelings are actually starting to border on the reverse. Know there are many who understand what i mean. I need warmth, the real deal. You know, it's like i am there, but yet not, some sense of invisibility on the level of my soul. Disconnectedness from all around me. Some gnawing emptiness that cannot be filled by material stuff.